LOOK, WORST BEERS IN THE WORLD, EVER! |
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Cat Piss
We rescue stray cats from all over England. We feed them on the finest hops and barley, a bit of yeast, and plenty of water, and we harvest the result, using a sophisticated system of irrigation. The result is a refreshing, powerfully hopped, pale ale. No cats were harmed in the production of this beer.
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Old Fart
Let’s face it, we all have an Old Fart in the family, and he usually likes a good old glass of bitter. With this in mind, our Old Fart is a robust, perfectly balanced, copper coloured best bitter, brewed to give a good dry hop taste, with a little malt sweetness. Caution! Too many of these, and your old fart will be farting like a trooper.
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Dog Piss
We select chocolate labradors with the highest pedigree. We feed them on the finest hops and barley, a bit of yeast, and plenty of water, and we collect the result via a sophisticated irrigation method. The result is a very smooth, rich, full-flavoured English stout. No dogs were harmed in the
production of this beer.
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Bullshit
For all of those who are prone to a bit of bullshitting every now and then, we offer this traditional pale, copper coloured bitter. This particular edition is our very own tribute to one of the biggest bullshitters of all, our dear old Prime Minister.
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Dandelion & Birdshit
Our ships sale the oceans to collect birdshit produced by Peruvian seabirds. We add this to the dandelions we steal from farmers’ fields around Derbyshire. (we don’t think they mind). The result is a beautiful, mellow, malty mild, named in honour of your favourite childhood pop.
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Big Cock
This beautiful, pale, golden beer is produced using very floral hops, lending it almost a hint of sherbert. It’s brewed in honour of all those who like to exaggerate their credentials. Don’t get too
excitable, it’s just a chicken! |
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LOOK, THE WORST CHRISTMAS BEERS IN THE WORLD, EVER!
NB: Santa's Little Helpers wont be brewing any of these for a while, but they will be available again in October 2009. |
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Santa's Surprise
You are receiving this spicy Winter Warmer for Christmas, because you have been naughty this year. Being naughty can be a very bad thing, or it can be a very good thing; it depends who is giving you the beer. This beer has been enhanced with a secret combination of spices for a bit of a festive surprise.
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Knobgoblin
This is a luscious, warming, dark ruby ale. It's been brewed for all of you people out there who have been good all year, only to be given socks or pants for Christmas, when all you want is a really good Knobgoblin.
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Yellow Snow
This pale, well-hopped, lager style beer, is brewed using the piss of actual, live snowmen, living near the North Pole, where santa lives, and where snowmen are actually alive.....honest, it's true.
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Suicide
For those of you for whom Christmas cannot be over soon enough, we offer you Suicide, a refreshingly hopped pale beer, with the addition of a subtle dose of calming honey. calm down, it'll soon be over! |
Miserable Scrooge
For all you Scrooges out there, we would like to wish you a Crappy Christmas, a rich, dark ale, with plenty of malt, and a good bitter finish.
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Rosy Cheeks
For those of you who, shall we say, like it a bit different, this is a pale, golden English beer, to which a drop of peach has been added. Okay, whoever spanked her may have gone a bit too far, but we didn't, so the peach flavour is lovely and subtle. |
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