We've never been to Letchworth before, but it's down South, where the people still have cash to spend, and it's a garden city, so it must be quite scenic too, and if it's a success, we'll be returning in October.
If you've never been to Sheffield, you should make the trip; it's surprisingly beautiful around the Peace Gardens, where this food festival has become one of our regular Springtime jaunts. If you make a weekend of it, you're a stone's throw from the Peak District, and Julius Caesar is on at The Crucible Theatre.
This is a lovely one; our annual Spring visit to the town of Alcester where the High Street is filled with food and drink stalls from around the country; why not make a day of it and come for breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, and an early dinner, all washed down with a pint or two of Farty Pants
We'll be coming over all artsy fartsy in Leek, where we will be mingling with the finest local artists and craftspeople. If the weather's good you might find us simply lying on the grass surrounded by empty bottles.
It's our annual trip to Kedleston Hall for the real Derbyshire Food Festival. Bring your National Trust membership Cards along and visit the house while you're at it; they do a lovely scone in the tearooms you know.
It's our first ever visit to St Sepulchre gate in the centre of Doncaster, where there will be a Grumpy Old Git tempting passers by with a bottle or two of his Great Tits and Pink Pussy.
We're returning to the stunning setting of Wentworth Woodhouse, which was built from the fortune made out of coal; black gold; and this time we're leaving the ballroom to set up on the lawn in front of the house where we should be serving pints of Knobhead.
If you pop into Dorchester Abbey on May 6th-7th, not only might you encounter Sophie Grigson cooking asparagus, but you will also see a fine selection of food, drinks, and gifts, including us serving pints of Snoring Pig.
When you've purchased your bedding plants and admired the sheep show, come and join us in the Food Hall for a nice pint of Bullshit.
Get your walking boots on and spend a weekend in the Peaks over the Bank Holiday weekend, but spare an hour or two to amble around Bakewell where you can treat yourself to a Dandelion & Birdshit, perfect for mild May
This will be a fantastic weekend, and it's not just for gardeners; you can throw a pot, have a go at archery.........have a pint! And look out for Jazz Magic, playing music from the Prohibition Era....you'll appreciate the irony when you see how many pints they down between sets!
This is our first ever visit to Wentworth Woodhouse, and it looks amazing. If I wasn't working there, I would go for a day out. Around 120 stalls, and it's not just food and drink.
We're only here Good Friday and Easter Saturday, but the event runs over the whole Easter weekend.....it's bound to rain on Sunday and Monday any way, it always does in Buxton!
It's Mother's Day, so bring her to Elsecar, where there's am amazing array of antique stores and bric a brac, and if she doesn't have a Grumpy Git at home, you can treat her to one.
You should make a weekend of it; visit Leek and the festival one day, and take a good walk into the Staffordshire Moorlands on the next. I highly recommend The Roaches.
This should be an interesting one; we'll be taking our place amongst the handbags, frocks, and cosmetics at the Northamptonshire County Cricket Ground for a VIP Ladies Day Out Pamper Me Fair. There's nothing a lady likes more than a nice Big Cock, which is a very refreshing, golden pale ale.
Over 40 food and drink stalls, including, we think, Hobson's Brewery, who brew an excellent beer, and the best news yet, it's free to visit!
You'll be wanting to surprise your partner with a nice Big Cock, or some Great Tits, whatever takes your fancy!